Study Reveals Common STD Originated from Neanderthal-Human Interbreeding

Leipzig, Germany — In a groundbreaking discovery that is rewriting the history of human disease, an international team of paleogeneticists and infectious disease experts has found compelling evidence that gonorrhea—one of humanity's oldest sexually transmitted infections—originated during interbreeding between early Homo sapiens and Neanderthals approximately 50,000 years ago. The research, published yesterday in the prestigious … Continue reading Study Reveals Common STD Originated from Neanderthal-Human Interbreeding →

Restaurant Balloon Artist Wins MacArthur Genius Grant

Plano, TX - Sandra "The Balloon Whisperer" Chen, who earned her living making balloon swords, flowers, and other items at a local Bennigan's restaurant, has been named among this year's MacArthur Fellowship recipients, becoming the first restaurant performer to receive the prestigious $800,000 "genius grant." Chen's artistic journey began fifteen years ago at children's birthday … Continue reading Restaurant Balloon Artist Wins MacArthur Genius Grant →

Mr. Rogers is on the Trolley Path to Sainthood

VATICAN CITY — In a move that is bridging faith and childhood education, the Vatican has officially opened the cause for canonization for Fred Rogers, the beloved creator and host of "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood" who passed away in 2003. The announcement comes as part of what Vatican observers note is a broader effort to recognize … Continue reading Mr. Rogers is on the Trolley Path to Sainthood →

AI Image Generators Are Getting Rickrolled

Standford - In a surprising twist that has blended cybersecurity, machine learning, and internet humor, many artificial intelligence image generation tools have fallen victim to an elaborate digital campaign that's turning sophisticated algorithms into unexpected Rick Astley fan art generators. What makes this phenomenon particularly remarkable is the extensive groundwork required to achieve such widespread … Continue reading AI Image Generators Are Getting Rickrolled →

Shrimp Breeder Uncovers Dangerous Chemical in Water Supply

ALLENTOWN, PA - In an unexpected turn of events, local hobbyist and amateur shrimp breeder Simon Aquila has exposed a potentially hazardous situation in the city's water supply. Aquila's keen observation of his aquarium shrimp led to the discovery of a dangerous chemical contamination that had gone unnoticed by city officials. Aquila, 42, who has … Continue reading Shrimp Breeder Uncovers Dangerous Chemical in Water Supply →

Move Over Turing, The Torquemada Test is AI’s New Hurdle

In a bold declaration that has sent ripples through the artificial intelligence community, leading computer scientist Dr. Hiroshi Tanaka has officially pronounced the Turing test obsolete. In its place, Dr. Tanaka proposes a new benchmark for AI capabilities: solving the notoriously challenging "Cain's Jawbone" puzzle, which he has dubbed the Torquemada Test. The Turing test, … Continue reading Move Over Turing, The Torquemada Test is AI’s New Hurdle →

Wife Arrested After Pillow Fight Turns Deadly

MUNCIE, IN - A seemingly trivial dispute over an outdated home decor trend turned tragic last night in the Indiana city of Muncie, resulting in the brutal murder of a local man by his wife. According to police reports, officers responded to a domestic disturbance call at the residence of James and Linda Roberts in … Continue reading Wife Arrested After Pillow Fight Turns Deadly →

Amusement Park Ride Manufacturer Halts U.S. Sales, Citing Obesity Concerns

BERLIN - In a controversial move that has sparked outrage across the United States, German amusement ride manufacturer Gröningen Rides announced today that it is suspending all sales and installations of its popular spinning ride "The Rotor" to American amusement parks and carnival operators. The company cited concerns that the average weight of American adults, … Continue reading Amusement Park Ride Manufacturer Halts U.S. Sales, Citing Obesity Concerns →

Mime Protesters Arrested in Thailand

Bangkok, Thailand - A group of mime artists performing a silent protest against Thailand's controversial monarch found themselves speechless after being arrested by authorities on Sunday. The group, calling themselves "Mimes Without Borders," staged a demonstration in downtown Bangkok by silently pantomiming actions criticizing King Vajiralongkorn over his lavish spending, strengthening control over the country, … Continue reading Mime Protesters Arrested in Thailand →

President Hayes’ Birthplace to be Demolished for Marijuana Dispensary

Delaware, OH - The childhood home of the 19th U.S. President Rutherford B. Hayes is slated for demolition to make way for a new marijuana dispensary, despite protests from local historians and preservationists. The two-story brick home on William Street in Delaware, Ohio is where Hayes was born on October 4th,1822. He lived in the … Continue reading President Hayes’ Birthplace to be Demolished for Marijuana Dispensary →