Scarsdale, NY – When the Goldberg family hired an event planner promising “AI-enhanced creativity” for their son Noah’s bar mitzvah, they imagined a modern touch to a sacred milestone, not a digital disaster that guests are still talking about weeks later. What they got instead was a cautionary tale in the dangers of trusting artificial intelligence with human traditions.
The planner, Celestial Celebrations LLC, had recently begun using an AI large language model to automate event design and “maximize cultural engagement.” Unfortunately, the system generated an event plan that was a jumble of religious confusion and tone-deaf errors.
Among the menu items were pork sausage platters, three-meat deep-dish pizzas with extra cheese, and lobster bisque toasts for the honoree. The algorithm had apparently confused kosher dietary laws with regional comfort food preferences. “It was surreal,” said Noah’s mother, Rachel Goldberg. “The AI wrote that pork symbolizes abundance and joy. I thought it was a joke. But the planner printed the menus before I caught it.”
Things only got stranger as the day went on. The AI created what it called a “universal blessing of gratitude,” which turned out to be a prayer to “the Great Coven Mother and her circle of light.” Guests reportedly looked around in confusion as the DJ read the invocation aloud, accompanied by eerie ambient music the AI described as “mystical EDM temple vibes.”
Despite the growing number of red flags, the event planner repeatedly assured the Goldbergs that everything was “under control” and that “the system knows how to handle cultural nuance.” When pressed for details about the final program, they offered little beyond vague references to “AI-optimized flow” and “dynamic theme integration.” “Looking back,” said David Goldberg, “that should have been our warning sign. Confidence without clarity is never comforting.”
As the event unfolded, it became clear that the AI had cobbled together cultural traditions from across the internet. The grand entrance script instructed Noah to descend the staircase to the rhythm of conga drums, symbolizing “the dawn of womanhood.” The confusion with a quinceañera left guests speechless. “Half the decorations were pink and gold, and the other half had pentagrams,” said David Goldberg. “There was a cake topper that said ‘Blessed Be, Noah!’ I should have known when she said the AI was handling cultural tone-matching.”
The musical selections only deepened the embarrassment. Songs like “Like a Virgin,” “Highway to Hell,” and “Hava Nagila (EDM Remix)” cycled back-to-back. At one point, the AI sent a message to the DJ’s tablet suggesting, “Insert crowd hype track: Witch Queen Celebration Mix.”
The Goldbergs said they chose Celestial Celebrations after seeing glowing Yelp reviews praising its “innovative use of AI.” The company was also several thousand dollars cheaper than traditional planners. “They had good reviews and were budget-friendly,” said Rachel Goldberg. “But I’ll never forget the sight of my rabbi walking out mid-ceremony shaking his head.”
Even the photographer ran into problems. Automated instructions began appearing on her connected tablet, urging her to “capture the essence of the moon goddess during candle lighting.” Noah, the guest of honor, summed up the event simply but poignantly: “I just wanted a normal party. You know, dance with my friends, maybe sneak a drink or two of Manischewitz. Have some fun. I never expected this though.”
After the fiasco went viral under hashtags like #BarmitzvahFromHell and #PrayerToTheCovenMother, Celestial Celebrations issued a statement blaming “unexpected LLM hallucinations” and “insufficient cultural data training.” The company claims it has since updated its AI filters for religious and dietary appropriateness.
Experts say the debacle is a reminder that even sophisticated systems lack true cultural understanding. “This isn’t just bad taste, it’s algorithmic ignorance,” said Dr. Marla Fein, a sociologist studying AI and ritual design. “Traditions aren’t datasets. They’re living expressions of meaning.”
As for the Goldbergs, they plan to host a small, family-only celebration next month, handled entirely by humans. Reflecting on the experience, David Goldberg offered a hard-learned piece of wisdom: “You don’t get what you expect, you get what you inspect. And next time, we’ll inspect everything before AI gets near it.”
Truth Bureau 