Controversy Erupts Over New Dungeons and Dragons Postage Stamps

Washington D.C. – The United States Postal Service (USPS) has sparked outrage among some conservative Christian groups over its release of a new series of Dungeons and Dragons-themed postage stamps. The stamps feature colorful artwork depicting scenes and characters from the popular fantasy roleplaying game.

“We are deeply disturbed that the USPS would promote images glorifying the occult and witchcraft, practices clearly condemned in Scripture,” said Margaret Whitewater, president of Christians for Decency, a nonprofit organization advocating for conservative Christian values. “The Bible expressly forbids witchcraft and sorcery in verses like Galatians 5:19-21. Yet these stamps depict spellcasting and interaction with demons.”

As part of their protest and boycott, the organization is promoting the use of email and other digital communication technologies instead of traditional postage.

“What’s next, stamps celebrating pagan holidays and witchcraft? Will we see official United States postage bearing pentagrams?” Whitewater asked at a press conference. “This sets a dangerous precedent for Postal Service content that directly contradicts God’s teachings.”

Christians for Decency has launched a nationwide petition calling for the immediate halt to printing and distribution of the new stamps. So far the petition has gathered over 75,000 signatures.

In response, Senator Mark Reynolds (R-OK) has pledged to open an inquiry into the Postal Service’s decision-making process regarding stamp designs. “There needs to be oversight and accountability for the imagery being disseminated on government-issued postage,” said Sen. Reynolds.

So far, the Postal Service has defended its decision to print the fantasy-themed stamps, calling it a fun way to reach younger stamp collectors. “These delightful stamps reflect America’s rich culture and entertainment,” said Postmaster General William Yardley. “We selected Dungeons and Dragons imagery purely for its iconic popularity and broad appeal. The fictional magic portrayed has no basis in reality.”

Debate over the stamps seems poised to continue as opposing sides dig in. The USPS insists stamp sales have exceeded projections, while Christians for Decency steadfastly maintain the images undermine traditional values.